Yesterday was a beautiful day at the lake - everything was all diamonds... it was -22, but that did not stop us from going out for a two hour ski on the lake - great for the body and soul. But at the end I fell and reinjured my elbow - it is so sore today - and even worse that I cannot do anything creative - so it is a day of reading.
I am doing a lot of soul searching to understand why it is so critical to me that no one else tell me what to do... I was so mad at Bob yesterday when he told me I should be out of my nightgown by 10:30 - do not think he will tell me that again... I love lazing around in my nightgown and think it is value of others that dictate that you need to get dressed everyday... or is it important for me to get dressed???
We are now back in Smithers - such a change and I still cannot decide where it is I would rather live as they are both so different. I think I want the house in town because it has so many memories and gives me total security... I do not like changes... and this is where I raised my boys - it is not that it is a fantastic house - just that it gives me a place that is mine - again back to my issues with having things my way... is it independence? is it control? is it my feeling that I might be abandoned and left alone again? I do not know - do we need a place to call home? My questions for the day - do not know if I will have an answer...
I have to take a day off from exercise as my arm desperately needs a rest... I am hoping the aching will not be so bad tomorrow...
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