Changes Happening

It has been two days of changes and finally getting to the next step of life... the business plan finally was accepted and all the angst that was created was for no reason as they have shelved it due to lack of Ministry funding... I have to learn to not have things bother me -- and not get involved in any political projects ever again...

I have made changes - registered for the Weaving workshop in February - ordered the spindle kit and some fibre. Today I moved forward is washing walls in the office and will start painting... making sure I get up each day and dress is a big challenge... exercise has not been as easy due to the dreadful weather - it is treacherous to walk - so am doing physical work with washing walls and painting... pulling myself away from "work"and towards other meaningful things has been hard. But have made sure I met with friends each week... this week I met one friend for coffee and another the next day for lunch... and will visit another on the weekend... so am creating balance - I went overboard on creativity last week -- so need to plan my projects and daily life in a more balanced way. My nutrition has been very good - I eat all the right things and at the right times and this has made a big difference to the amount of drugs I am having to take I have been able to decrease my drugs to once a day instead of twice and I think this is a good thing...

Today I will finish the wall washing and hole filling and prepare to start painting first thing tomorrow... Tonight I will read for a while and do some crocheting - when it stops raining - Beetle and I will go for a walk... It has been easier then I thought it would be to break away from work - think having such a terrible project made it easier... if I need money I can do some quilting and sell it at a market rather than do this kind of stressful work... and decreasing expenses will help too... Has always been hard for me to make changes as I am so tied to security - I think that comes from being a struggling single mother - when some months I could not make ends meet... and I went on to become successful and have a few extra dollars - it is so hard to choose to go back to the possibility of that struggle ever again.

Sometimes I am far too independent for my own good - but it is that stubborness and independence that has helped me survive...